Monday, 14 December 2009

pretty expensive even for wine.

Do you know how many types of verb there are? Too many. Who is ever EVER going to need to know the difference between the complex transitive and the copular forms, or the intransitive and the ditransitive, or whatever the hell else?

I have to go and get ready for the english society cocktail party in a second but so far this evening I have mainly GONE CRACKERS staring at this sodding english coursework (hate hate hate), rattling around my freezing cold bedroom and listening to Fever Ray on repeat, who are er...not a band that encourage calm rationality. Perhaps I'll just watch this video on repeat until I convince myself I'm actually a shaman. twitch twitch.

(This is a bit like the night I sat and read all those pictures for sad children comics in one go - from perhaps the beginning to around here, or further - and felt a bit like maybe we were all doomed. Except I made a really awesome tomato and red onion tart tonight. So you can't say things aren't on the up.)

Thursday, 10 December 2009

as changed itself to past without a word.

First night of my first ever play at university was tonight, which I spent tottering about the place with grey-sprayed hair and faux wrinkles and a big fake limp and oh, it was excellent fun. The Crucible's gone from being something I tentatively enjoyed to something I really rather liked, to something I looked forward to, to finally - after all this time - something I adore and am heartbroken to see the beginning of the end of. I'm going to miss it/the cast so freaking much and feel utterly privileged to have been involved. Touchingly, one of my housemates came along alone this evening (he says he will come again on Friday with everyone else) and met me at the stage door afterwards with a Double Decker, and the show went WELL and ugh, I love doing it so much.

HOWEVER. After all the joys of this afternoon/evening, I came home only to be relaunched into yet more conversations about the great housing debate of '09 - something that has been ambling along for days now. The stress of everyone from our group of friends trying to work out who's living with who is genuinely doing my head in; we're supposed to live in a seven, which I think (and all my non-first year friends have told me) is too many by far and, really, you shouldn't go above five-ish due to the mess, the stress, the attempts to coordinate that many people's wildly divergent wants and needs, you know. Too much. Pretty much everyone in the Prospective Flatmates camp thinks that I am making a fuss over nothing by wanting to split us in two, but I cannot face living with so many people, I genuinely think it'll cause so much fuss and hassle and the house will be ungood and, just, ugh. But I have nobody else to live with. At the moment, it looks like my choice is going to be: live in a house of seven or live in a gosh darned box. Or go into halls again or something, but obviously I wouldn't do THAT if I could avoid it. The whole situation is depressing me so much, when all I want to do is get excited about ~*~theatre~*~ and christmas. CHRISTMAS.

I'm not even that excited about Christmas Actual Holidays, for a whole set of other reasons which I don't really want to detail on here in, you know, public and that, although I am excited about all the friends & plays & comedy I'll be able to see in a week. But, yeah. I just feel like there's all these Issues at home and now all these Issues at university and I really can't be bothered with any of it any more. I just want to sleep forever.


Basically this whole stupid post can be summed up like this:

Dear Life,

Be less up and down for just five minutes, please? Please.

Me xxx